In my heart

Long ago and far away
There was just you and I.
Though we were ever so close,
So far apart.
In nostalgia, I see that now,
How lonely you were.
And then “she”appeared.
A most beautiful sight
Who came to you at night
To wash your tears away.

She was alluring,
And captured your heart
And in my youth I listened intently
As you retold the tale
In search of answers:
How could this be?
Who was she?
Would she come again?

I’ve never seen you so happy
But after the spectral lady had departed,
None of your ladies measured up.
In time they set you against women
Because none of them were quite like her.

My feelings were never a mystery,
For I always loved you.
But that was a chance I was unwilling to take
Because in the glint of your eye
It took me seconds to forecast
A life that was never ours.

And after all of the doubts,
Questioning the reality of dreams
and sensations,
Somehow managed to convince yourself
Of how she never even existed.

But of passions such as those
And an unquenchable thirst,
There was never anyone more deserving
Of the fleeting glimpses of happiness
That pass through our lives.

This is the gift I give to you,
The side of me you’ve never seen.

You asked me to teach my craft to you,
When you were strong in your relationships
with the spirits,
I was just sorting myself out
and neglectful of what you carried inside of you
In no condition to teach anything I had not yet learned, myself

When I had truly come of age,
and come into my own understanding
of exactly who and what I am supposed to be,
You had packed up your books and traded your cards
For a nihilistic, cold embrace.


Published by: Katie Anderson

Katie Anderson is a priestess, mentor, researcher, writer, and artist. She writes essays, poetry, and fiction that intersect history, philosophy, and spirituality. Previous publications include Lilith: Dark Feminine Archetype. She is currently preparing her first book, When Above for self-publication. She lives with her husband and son in Troy, Missouri.

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